SHAADI KE ARMAAN

 

What Are “Shaadi Ke Armaan”?

“Shaadi ke Armaan” refers to emotional desires that families (especially parents) develop regarding their child’s wedding. These may include:

• Lavish décor and designer outfits
• Music, dancing, and large baraats
• Expensive customs not rooted in Islam
• Cultural traditions that overshadow the Nikah
• While the desire to celebrate is natural, these Armaan become dangerous when they are prioritized over the core values of Islam — piety, character, and compatibility.

Why Good Proposals Are Being Rejected for the Wrong Reasons

Marriage in Islam is meant to be a source of Barakah (blessing), not a battleground of ego, extravagance, and cultural baggage. Yet today, many families reject righteous marriage proposals not for a lack of deen or compatibility — but because the wedding won’t fulfil their “Armaan” (emotional desires and fantasies).

From lavish ceremonies to unnecessary rituals, many proposals are dismissed for not promising enough glamour. What was once a simple union rooted in faith has now become a stage show funded by debt and sustained by pride.

 

Let’s explore the harmful impact of rejecting proposals due to these so-called armaan, and what Islam actually teaches us about marital decisions.

Real-Life Consequences of “Armaan-Driven” Decisions

Rejection of Pious Proposals

Good men and women with excellent character and religious commitment are turned away because their families can’t offer enough pomp and show.

• “No gold chain?” Rejected.
• “No separate function for haldi?” Rejected.
• “Too simple and Islamic?” Rejected.

This is not just unfair — it’s spiritually reckless.

2. Delayed Marriages

The search for a perfect “dream wedding” often delays marriages, leaving youth vulnerable to temptation, heartbreak, and sometimes even Zina.

3. Emotional and Financial Strain

Families burden themselves with loans to “keep up appearances.” Daughters are made to feel like they’re failing their parents if they don’t agree to excessive demands. Grooms are humiliated for not meeting cultural expectations.

4. Spiritual Decline

Weddings become filled with un-Islamic practices. Music, mixed gatherings, and show-off take center stage — and Allah’s guidance is pushed aside.

What Islam Actually Teaches About Marriage Proposals

Islam encourages:

• Simplicity in marriage
• Character and piety as top criteria
• Avoiding extravagance and burden

The Prophet ﷺ said:

“The most blessed marriage is that which is easiest and most affordable.”
(Ibn Hibban)

• When a proposal comes with good deen and Akhlaq, it should not be rejected due to lack of wealth or inability to host a grand function.
• “If there comes to you one with whose religion and character you are pleased, then marry (your daughter) to him.”
  (Tirmidhi)
• This is the golden standard — not whether the proposal includes matching outfits, choreographed dances, or a 5-star banquet.

Armaan vs. Amanah: A Spiritual Crisis

• When we choose Arman over Amanah:
• We make weddings about ourselves, not Allah.
• We forget that our children are trusts (Amanah), not trophies.
• We begin marriages with sins and debts, not Sunnah and blessings.

The very same people who say:

“It’s our only daughter’s wedding — let us enjoy it!”

may forget that a wedding is not an excuse to disobey Allah. The best way to enjoy it is by earning His pleasure, not society’s applause.

Practical Ways to Break This Cycle

 Re-educate the Family

Hold small family sessions to discuss Islamic wedding values. Share stories of the Prophet’s ﷺ daughters’ weddings — which were simple, spiritual, and meaningful.

2. Set an Example

Be the first in your family to choose Sunnah over show-off. Let your child’s wedding be remembered for its Barakah, not its banquet.

3. Say No to Harmful Rituals

• Even if everyone expects it — say no to practices that:
• Burden the groom’s family
• Humiliate or pressure anyone
• Contradict the Qur’an and Sunnah

4. Support Simple Marriages

Praise, share, and support couples who have the courage to simplify. Help create a culture where deen and dignity are celebrated more than décor.

A Final Reflection

• At a time when people are sacrificing their lives for Islam, are we still unwilling to sacrifice a dance function?
• At a time when knowledge of deen is spreading, are we still clinging to darkness
• It’s time we ask ourselves:
• Would the Prophet ﷺ accept our current wedding culture?
  If not, we must change it — not justify it.

Call to Action:

• Don’t let Arman destroy someone’s future.
• Choose deen over drama.
• Choose blessings over burden.
• Choose Sunnah over society.

Do you know someone struggling with cultural expectations in marriage?

 

Share this blog with them. Let’s revive the Sunnah — one Nikah at a time.