Are We Becoming the Biggest Hurdle to Our Own Ummah?
When Our Choices Contradict the Sunnah of Marriage
In a time when the Ummah is rapidly growing in number, one painful truth confronts us: our lifestyle choices are becoming the greatest obstacle to reviving the prophetic path of marriage. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ gave glad tidings that he would be proud of his Ummah’s numbers on the Day of Judgment:
“Marry, for I will boast of your great numbers before the nations on the Day of Judgment.” (Sunan Ibn Majah 1845). But numbers without value, obedience, and Sunnah-alignment are just noise. And today, our choices regarding dowry, extravagant weddings, delayed marriages, and cultural pressures are distancing us from the very Sunnah we claim to love.
Let’s take a deeper look.
Dowry: A Cultural Practice That Betrays the Sunnah
The noble Sunnah teaches that the groom gives Mahr (a gift) to the bride, not the other way around. The Prophet ﷺ never accepted a dowry from any woman. In fact, he elevated the honor of women by emphasizing their right to Mahr.
Yet today, dowry continues to:
- Burden the bride’s family with unrealistic financial demands
- Turn marriage into a transaction rather than a sacred union
- Delay righteous suitors from marrying due to economic expectations
- Despite Islamic scholars globally declaring it un-Islamic, this harmful practice persists—causing heartbreak, humiliation, and sometimes even violence. Dowry is a silent oppression still accepted by many in the name of culture.
Lavish Weddings: Celebrating Against the Sunnah
The wedding of Fatimah (RA) and Ali (RA)—one of the greatest unions in Islamic history—was marked by simplicity, humility, and spiritual depth. The Prophet ﷺ conducted their marriage without fanfare, waste, or societal show-off.
Contrast this with today’s weddings:
- Weeks of pre-wedding events with choreographed dances
- Luxury venues and designer outfits worth lakhs
- Feeding thousands while struggling couples go unnoticed
These extravagant weddings create immense pressure on families and distort the purpose of Nikah. Instead of celebrating a union before Allah, they often become displays of wealth and social status.
Islam encourages spending moderately and sharing with the poor instead. Simplicity is not only beautiful—it’s blessed.
Delaying Marriage: A Crisis Born from Perfectionism
The Prophet ﷺ emphasized early marriage:
“When someone whose religion and character pleases you comes to you (for marriage), marry him…” (Tirmidhi 1084)
Yet today, the marriage age continues to rise. Why?
- Unrealistic expectations of career, status, and physical beauty
- Family objections based on caste, color, or income
- Pressure to complete multiple degrees before considering marriage
- Overemphasis on wedding grandeur over marital compatibility
- The delay results in increased trials: emotional distress, immoral temptations, and a growing fear of commitment.
- The longer we delay Nikah, the more doors we open for Shaytaan to lead our youth astray. It is time to remove the unnecessary hurdles and embrace a faith-first approach to marriage.
We Are the Hurdle: A Harsh Truth We Must Face
We often complain about rising divorce rates, marital conflicts, and the youth turning away from marriage altogether. But we must ask ourselves:
Are we not the very people who normalized dowry, celebrated extravagance, delayed weddings, and judged by culture over character?
We have become:
- Passive enablers of injustice
- Silent spectators to societal pressure
- Gatekeepers of cultural expectations that oppose divine guidance
- The real enemy is not modernity, westernization, or lack of resources. The real challenge is our refusal to change.
The Way Forward: Choosing the Sunnah Every Time
Reform doesn’t require a revolution. It begins with intentional choices:
- Say NO to dowry—start the change in your own family.
- Plan weddings that reflect the Sunnah—not societal expectations.
- Marry early and encourage others to do the same.
- Look for deen and character—not worldly qualifications.
- Be an advocate—speak out at family gatherings and events.
Every step we take toward reviving the prophetic model of marriage is a step toward healing the Ummah.
Lifepartneracademy’s Call to Action
At Lifepartneracademy, we are committed to:
- Educating families on Sunnah-based marriages
- Conducting pre-marital workshops
- Providing marriage counseling rooted in Islamic values
- Offering legal and financial guidance to couples
- Launching initiatives like the Community Wedding Fund and Save Food, Stop Hunger
We believe that marriage should be accessible, spiritual, and simple—just like the marriages of the Prophet ﷺ. Let us be the Ummah that the Prophet ﷺ will smile upon, not because of our numbers, but because of our choices.
Share the Message. Break the Chains and Revive the Sunnah
- Be part of the Break the Chains — Revive the Sunnah movement.
Support a young couple. Reject dowry. Promote simplicity. - Together, let’s remove the hurdles we have built — and return to the path of mercy, modesty, and marriage with meaning.
It’s a very strong message – people should read and reflect on the adversities of marriages in today’s time.