Have We Forgotten Why We Marry?

The Meaning and Purpose of Marriage in Islam:

“They are clothing for you, and you are clothing for them.” — Surah Al-Baqarah (2:187)

In today’s world, finding a suitable spouse has become increasingly challenging. Young men and women spend years searching for a life partner, while parents devote countless hours reviewing marriage proposals, speaking to families, and comparing profiles.

The conversations often revolve around education, profession, income, family background, social status, culture, nationality, appearance, and many other factors. These considerations are certainly important and deserve thoughtful attention. However, a fundamental question is often overlooked:

What is the true purpose of marriage?

Unless we first understand why Allah instituted marriage, we may end up searching for the right qualifications while overlooking the right purpose.

When the Purpose Is Forgotten

Imagine someone walking into a clothing store without knowing why they need clothes.

• Would they buy a winter jacket for a summer holiday?
• Would they purchase a business suit for mountain climbing?
• Would they wear sportswear to a wedding?

Of course not.

Before buying any clothing, we naturally ask several questions:

• What is its purpose?
• Where will it be used?
• Is it comfortable?
• Will it protect me?
• Is it suitable for the occasion?
• Does it fit properly?

We never purchase clothes randomly because every garment is designed to fulfil a specific purpose. If we apply such careful thought before buying clothes, shouldn’t we apply far greater wisdom when choosing the person who may accompany us for the rest of our lives?

The Beautiful Qur’anic Analogy

Allah ﷻ describes the marital relationship with one of the most profound metaphors found in the Qur’an: “They are clothing for you, and you are clothing for them.” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:187). This verse is far more than beautiful language. It defines the very nature of marriage.

Consider what clothing does for us every single day.

• Clothing protects us.
• It provides comfort.
• It covers our shortcomings.
• It preserves our dignity.
• It keeps us warm during difficult seasons.
• It remains close to us wherever we go.
• It gives confidence and reassurance.

Likewise, a righteous spouse is meant to become a source of protection, comfort, dignity, encouragement, and companionship throughout life’s journey. The Qur’anic description reminds us that marriage is not about superiority or competition. It is about complementing one another in a relationship built upon mutual care and responsibility.

Marriage Is About Companionship

One of the greatest misunderstandings today is confusing the qualifications of a spouse with the purpose of a spouse.

• Education is valuable.
• Financial stability is important.
• A good family background matters.
• Compatibility should be carefully assessed.
• Character should never be compromised.

Yet none of these, by themselves, define why Allah created marriage.

The primary purpose of marriage is companionship.

• A companion who celebrates your happiness.
• A companion who stands beside you during hardship.
• A companion who strengthens your faith.
• A companion who fills your weaknesses with their strengths.
• A companion who encourages you to become a better believer.
• A companion who walks beside you towards Jannah.

Marriage was never intended to create rivals.

• It was never intended to create competitors.
• It was never intended to produce a winner and a loser.

Allah created spouses to become garments for one another.

The Foundation of a Peaceful Marriage

Allah ﷻ further explains the purpose of marriage in another beautiful verse:

“And among His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find tranquility in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy.” (Surah Ar-Rum 30:21). This verse introduces three timeless foundations of every successful marriage:

• Sakinah (tranquility and inner peace)
• Mawaddah (deep affection and love)
• Rahmah (mercy and compassion)

These are not optional extras. They are the objectives of marriage. Everything else—education, careers, finances, and achievements—should support these goals rather than replace them.

Choosing a Companion, Not Simply a Profile

Many marriage proposals today resemble employment applications.

• Age.
• Height.
• Qualification.
• Profession.
• Income.
• Assets.
• Nationality.
• Family details.

formation has its place, no profile can truly answer the most important question: Can this person become my companion for the sake of Allah?. A lifelong companion is someone who:

• Supports your relationship with Allah.
• Encourages honesty and sincerity.
• Protects your dignity.
• Respects your family.
• Helps you through life’s challenges.
• Celebrates your successes without jealousy.
• Advises with kindness.
• Forgives your mistakes.
• Covers your shortcomings instead of exposing them.

These are the qualities that transform a marriage from a legal contract into a lifelong covenant.

A Question Every Family Should Ask

Before evaluating degrees, salaries, family status, or material possessions, every parent and every prospective bride or groom should pause and ask: “Can this person truly become clothing for my son or daughter?” Equally important is another question: “Can my son or daughter become clothing for this person?” Marriage is not simply about finding the right spouse. It is equally about becoming the right spouse. When both individuals strive to fulfil the Qur’anic description of being garments for one another, marriage becomes a source of peace rather than conflict.

Looking Beyond the Wedding Day

Modern society often invests enormous effort into planning the wedding.

• Venues.
• Decorations.
• Photography.
• Clothing.
• Jewellery.
• Guest lists.
• Catering.

Wedding lasts only a few hours. Marriage, by Allah’s permission, lasts a lifetime. A successful marriage is not built by an extravagant celebration. It is built by two believers who understand why they married in the first place. The happiest marriages are rarely those with the most expensive weddings. They are the marriages in which both husband and wife sincerely strive to become a source of tranquility, mercy, protection, and companionship for one another.

Returning to the Qur’anic Definition

Perhaps one of the greatest needs of our time is not simply better matchmaking.

It is better understanding.

When we rediscover the Qur’an’s definition of marriage, our priorities begin to change.

• We stop searching merely for impressive qualifications.
• We begin searching for righteous companionship.
• We stop asking, “How successful is this person?”
• We begin asking, “Will this person help me succeed in this life and the Hereafter?”

Marriage then becomes more than a social milestone.

• It becomes an act of worship.
• It becomes a partnership built upon faith.
• It becomes a journey towards Allah.

May Allah ﷻ grant every young man and woman a righteous spouse who becomes a garment of comfort, protection, dignity, affection, and mercy. May He bless our homes with Sakinah, fill our hearts with Mawaddah and Rahmah, and make every Muslim marriage a means of attaining His pleasure and, ultimately, Jannah.